When Enough Is Enough
by Ardikani4
Summary: Injuries are normal to the members of Five-0. It is also well known that they are tougher, stronger, and faster than any other police unit on Hawaii. But sometimes, even the best are laid low. Sometimes, enough is enough.
1. Enough

She had a headache. Scratch that; headache was too mild a term. She was caught in the throes of a fully developed migraine. Not that she was surprised; she had had an…eventful day. The case they had been working had exploded. The suspects had appeared quite unexpectedly, sending the Five-0 team scrambling into action as they raced to intercept them before they disappeared. It had all gone downhill from there.

-FLASHBACK-

They had arrived at a seemingly empty warehouse that was several stories tall, and for sake of speed, they had to split up. Honolulu PD was sending backup, but they couldn't afford to wait. So into the building they went. Steve kept them together until they reached the stairwell, then he split them to their respective floors. He and Danny took the first floor; Chin and Kono were sent to the basement. That left her to creep up the stairs to the second floor…alone.

While creeping along a corridor, she found herself blindsided as she was knocked off her feet by a massive individual with hands the size of a grizzly's paws. She rallied in under a second, making it to her knees before the brute's meaty hands closed on her throat. Panic instantly blossomed in her brain as her air supply was cut off, then she was lifted off her knees and tossed around like a ragdoll. She fought back valiantly, thrashing her feet in an effort to land a kick as she raised her weapon, which she still held despite her current predicament. Black dots flickered across her vision as she fought to keep her wits about her, and she blinked the haze away angrily as she steadied her weapon and squeezed the trigger.

A muffled _bang_ and a pained howl echoed across the building, and she couldn't help the smirk that crossed her face at the confirmation that her shot hit home. She realized she was being lifted up higher, then she found herself staring into the eyes of the man she had shot. Black, angry, and pig-like, they glared back at her, then a terrifying smile crossed his face. Fueled by pain and rage, he turned, flinging her through the nearest window and out into open air. Her startled cry of fear was met with silence as she fell.

For a brief moment, there was nothing. Reality shattered that nothingness into fragments faster than she could blink. She landed hard on her back, said landing accompanied by the screeching of metal and the crackle of breaking glass. The world tilted and her vision cut to black as all the air left her chest in a massive whoosh, her bones creaking ominously in response to her hard landing. Relieved not to hear any bones actually break, she blinked rapidly and stared at the sky, stunned and in a shocking amount of pain. After a few seconds, her breath returned slowly and painfully, on account of her rapidly bruising throat, and with the oxygen, sound came back as well. It was then that she heard the screaming in her headset, multiple voices demanding she respond. With all her heart, she wished she could answer them, but with her throat damaged and her current air supply down to half its usual capacity, she just didn't have the strength.

An eternity later, the sound of running feet reached her ears, and she fought to turn her head to look as fear turned her blood to ice. She didn't know who was approaching her. If it was a friend, she was fine. If it was foe…then she would die. In the end, it was a futile effort, as her body just wouldn't respond to her maddened effort to move. Sudden movement startled her and made her stomach twist in response, then a familiar face blocked her view of the sky. A profound sense of relief swept through her tired and hurting body, and if she'd been standing, she was certain she would have gone to her knees at the strength of it.

"Steve…" His name left her lips in a strained whisper, but the SEAL heard it, and she knew it. His steel blue eyes widened in a silent cry of shock at how bad she looked, but the rest of his face was stone. His 'aneurysm face', as Danny called it. He reached for her, but then hesitated, his gaze sweeping over her before he reluctantly let his hands fall to his sides. She saw the stone mask crack for a fraction of a second as his frustration and worry got the better of him, then it snapped back into place as another figure raced up to them.

"Steve, is she…oh hell…no. No!" She knew that accent. Danny Williams, affectionately called Danno by his daughter and Steve, had been born and raised in New Jersey, and his accent had never left. She barely saw the SEAL's huge torso twist as he looked at his partner, the snarl now prominent on the big man's face as he spoke.

"Not dead. Paramedics, now! Where is the piece of shit? Have you guys got him in custody yet?" The rest of the conversation faded into the void as her eyes drifted to look at the sky again. To her relief, the pain was slowly slipping away, and she let her eyes fall shut in response. Some part of her was screaming with terror, knowing that her overwhelming tiredness, loss of hearing, and loss of feeling were all very, very bad, but she couldn't bring it in herself to care. Just before she went under, she felt the sensation of hands on her cheeks, desperation and a panicked edge to the otherwise gentle touch.

 _Sorry, Steve…_ He was her last thought before the darkness took her away.

-END FLASHBACK-

She blinked, coming out of the memories of the day as she looked at the ceiling thoughtfully. The too white, too bland ceiling, and its matching walls and long, long halls. It was one of the…perks, she supposed, of being in the hospital. There was just one problem, though. She hated hospitals. Always had. They prompted anxiety attacks, backed by too many bad memories and too many friends lost in the endless halls and whitewashed walls.

As soon as she was fully aware that, indeed, she was in the hospital, she was hammering on the call button, her anxiety already flaring as her heart started racing. The doctor and the nurse had arrived quickly, both of them familiar with her and her inability to be left in the hospital alone. Her face was a dark mask as she stared down her doctor, as if daring him to stop her from leaving. She had already seen the nurse leave to call her emergency contact, and knew it was only a matter of time before he showed up to belabor her as she signed herself out against medical advice, _again._ The doctor knew her well; he summed her injuries up without preamble, then held the papers out for her to sign. He just didn't bother to fight anymore. She had just finished the paperwork when she heard a familiar thumping stride approaching her door. She looked up in time to see him storm in, blazing eyes meeting hers immediately.

"You're staying." Steve said, looming over her in an unconscious effort to scare her into staying. She merely gave him a dismissive look, then cautiously got to her feet, testing her limits as the big SEAL growled angrily at her stubbornness.

"You…have no…room to…talk, Steven." She growled in response, and she sensed it when her words hit home. The tension in the air could be cut with a knife, and the doctor wisely chose that moment to leave, admonishing his patient to go home and go to bed, for goodness' sake. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw his hands flex unconsciously, indicating just what kind of state her boss was in. Her eyes narrowed, and she smirked dangerously as her gaze rose to meet his, his eyes nearly black with anger, whether towards her or the one who landed her here, she couldn't tell. May as well poke the bear a little more.

"Shall we…be on…our way, then?" She asked, unable to keep the spark of mischief out of her eyes despite Steve's murderous gaze. They stared at each other for what seemed like forever, then he spun on his heel and stalked out, his shoulders tense as she followed more slowly. He marched down the hall, not bothering to keep his stride short enough to match hers as she waved goodbye to the nurses, unconcerned with the SEAL's poorly masked fury. She knew she should stay, but without someone there to keep her company, she usually came out of the place worse than she had gone in.

When she reached the exit, she looked around for her boss, but couldn't find him. She contented herself with sitting on a nearby bench, waiting expectantly. Before long a loud roar echoed through the parking lot, and a big blue Chevrolet Silverado screeched up to the curb before skidding to a halt. She quietly got to her feet, moving towards the truck at a slow but steady pace as the driver's side door was thrown open, her boss hopping out and stomping around the truck to open the passenger side door. Though nearly beside himself with rage, he was still a gentleman, and he was still very concerned about her condition. He hadn't heard the full summary of her injuries yet, and didn't want her to overtax herself. She carefully stepped into the cab, settling into the big, comfy seat with a quietly murmured thanks to Steve, and as she put on her seatbelt, he closed the door gently before going back around to get in the vehicle. She winced when he slammed his door, throwing the truck into gear before tearing back out of the lot.

"Steve…why not…Camaro?" She asked tightly as he careened around a turn. He threw her a stunned look, which she met with puzzled curiosity. His eyes went to the road, then back to her, before he answered.

"You don't remember? Nicki, when you were thrown out that window, you _landed_ on the Camaro! You crushed the roof and shattered the windows and windshield." Her jaw dropped. She _totaled_ Danny's Camaro? Oh hell.

"Nothing…to remember. All I knew…was pain. Didn't realize…what I hit." She replied, sensing that on some level, Steve's fury was slowly burning out. She let the silence stretch for a little bit, contemplating on the various questions she could ask while he calmed down.

"Now do you understand why I wanted you to stay? You couldn't even move when I reached you. I thought the bastard had killed you." His voice rumbled from across the cab, and she nodded quietly but not in acquiescence. Her reaction was merely acceptance of his wishes, not obedience to them. His frustrated sigh reached her ears a moment later; he knew what _that_ nod meant. She held her breath as they flew through another turn before she spoke.

"Everyone else…get through?" She saw his nod, but understood there was more to the story. With the Five-0, there always was. She sighed, grimaced, and shifted as her back twinged slightly.

"Danny?" At her question, her boss smirked before tossing her a sympathetic glance. Her question was not for his partner's health, but for how he reacted to the Camaro.

"Pissed, but not so much at you. When he saw the file on that guy, he kinda stopped blaming you immediately. He'll still bitch about it, but he's not angry with you." She nodded as he whipped through one last turn before screeching up to Five-0's headquarters, standing on the brakes to bring the big truck to a rubber-burning halt.

"Goddamned bear. Why do…I always…get the…big ones?" Nicki asked, half to Steve and half for irony's sake. She was the smallest member of the Governor's elite police squad, and she always seemed to go against the biggest guys in a fight. He didn't bother to answer as he shut the engine off and hopped out of the truck, crossing back to her side to let her out. This time, though, he cut his stride to meet hers as they headed up the sidewalk leading into the building. She was grateful for his concern and thoughtfulness, needing to stop and lean on his strong shoulder once to catch her breath.

After a time, they made it to the building and up to the Five-0's floor, walking out of the elevator and straight into what seemed to be a war. Alarmed by the shouting and the noise, Steve left her alone as he sprang forward and into the chaos to determine its cause. The sheer craziness of it all left her slack-jawed and robbed of speech for several seconds, her wide eyes sweeping the floor in a search for bad guys. With her visual inspection complete and no threats identified, she looked back at the center of the room, her eyes narrowing in anger when she realized that Steve had joined the verbal altercation. Still unable to determine exactly what they were screaming at each other about, and with a migraine threatening to leave her curled on the floor in the fetal position, her tenuous hold on her rather vicious temper snapped. Her unexpected roar shocked the entire unit into silence.

"SHUT. THE FUCK. UP!" All eyes turned to her, fright and awe warring with shock and dismay at how much she was shaking from the effort of yelling at them. She was forced to lean on a chair to steady herself, and Steve sprang forward to assist. Waving him aside, she fixed blazing gray eyes on the rest, her features twisted into a snarl of absolute fury.

"What. Is wrong. With you?" Her voice was low and menacing in spite of her inability to speak a full sentence without needing a breath. A shuffling of feet and wandering gazes were her only answer. Suddenly feeling absolutely exhausted, she hung her head, shaking it slowly as a heavy hand landed on her shoulder. Steve's voice reached her from afar.

"Sorry, Nicki. Everyone's been…tense, since you fell." Sudden rage rippled through her frame, and her head snapped up to level a hellfire gaze on him, his words having enraged her once again.

"Fell? _Fell?_ Are you…for real? That…that ox…hit me…and grabbed…me by…my neck. He picked…me up…and thrashed me… _like a…a doll._ It was…only luck…my shot…didn't miss. But…it cost me…" Her head lowered again, and their silence was deathly. She knew the question they all wanted to ask, but not at risk of provoking her wrath again. So she sighed, took as deep a breath as she could, and then looked to them all in turn, her eyes dull with pain and exhaustion.

"Concussion. Hairline skull fracture. Cracked ribs. Bruises everywhere. I _hurt._ A lot. You all arguing…doesn't help. I appreciate…any concern…but please…save your tempers…and _find him._ " Worn to the bone, she collapsed in the chair that Steve had wisely maneuvered behind her as she talked. The bag holding her medication appeared in front of her, along with a bottle of water. Her gratitude was communicated in a warm look and a heavy nod to Steve, and then she started opening bottles and shaking out pills.

As she did, the team came forward one by one, touching her shoulders or her head in silent support and comfort. She responded with gentle touches and looks of her own, understanding their frustration and their concern, but needing their silence and their distance more. Fortunately, they understood, and as they all melted away, it left only her and Steve, with Danny still standing a few feet away. Nicki braced herself as she raised her gaze to the Jersey man, his light blue eyes unreadable.

"Sorry about…the Camaro." Her voice was quiet, but she sensed Steve's rebuttal building in the silence that followed. She looked to him, only to see that he was staring hard at Danny, as if daring him to blame her for the damage to his precious car. Light blue stared into steel as the partners faced off from across the table.

 _No,_ Nicki thought. _Don't defend me, you stubborn ass._ Then it hit, like a bolt from the blue. Something else had happened after she had been found. But what? She looked carefully at the SEAL, reading his stance, his face, and his gaze, before she looked to the silently stewing blonde. He was easier to read, always had been. Instantly, she knew.

"Don't…" Her quiet plea fell on deaf ears as Danny's eyes hardened to ice, and he took a menacing step towards Steve. The SEAL could beat him into the floor, but he didn't care, not at that moment. And nothing was going to stop him from saying it now.

"Nicki went up there, _alone_ , because _you_ told her to! It's your fault the Camaro is wrecked, and that she's now classifiable as the walking dead! Goddamn you! I tried to tell you, but no! Forget about the gut instinct of your partner! Send the one person that _always_ finds a fight up by herself! We _knew_ how dangerous these scumbags were! We knew they had a guy the size of a moose! We also knew about Nicki's stunning ability to find the biggest guy in there, and get into a scuffle with him! Why the _hell_ didn't you keep her with either of the teams we had searching? _Why?_ Are you that determined to get her killed?" Steve's jaw clenched, and his eyes darkened with fury. She was staring gobsmacked at Danny, but swung her head back to their boss when his knuckles cracked where he had his hands clenched at his sides. Without thinking, she was on her feet, reaching for Steve in a desperate effort to keep him grounded. She was too late.

A roar of hurt and anger left the SEAL's chest as he launched himself at the blonde detective, who realized a bit too late that he had gone too far this time. Nicki could only watch as they collided, the massive brunette's weight and momentum driving them both to the floor. He proceeded to launch a flurry of blows at Danny's face, while the blonde simply curled up defensively and did his best to block them. Everyone charged back to the main floor to break up the fight, but skidded to a halt when Nicki's gray eyes turned to granite, and she stormed around the table.

She reached the two combatants as Steve's arm was going back for another hit. Without thinking, she seized the opportunity, spinning in a quick circle to deliver a vicious roundhouse kick to the SEAL's face. Pain jolted up her leg and into her torso from the blow, and she dropped to her knees as Steve tumbled backward to land at Chin's feet, his eyes wide from shock as a massive shiner started to appear around his right eye.

All eyes returned to Nicki as she knelt in the middle of the room, her entire frame shaking with barely-contained agony. She noted inwardly that delivering a roundhouse kick to the face of a man that's practically made of steel is a particularly poor idea, especially considering her current condition. Now she couldn't move without her body feeling like it was recovering from being crushed in a hydraulic press.

"Enough…" Was all she could say. Anything else was lost to a pained gasp as she wobbled dangerously on her knees, her balance failing as her body decided that enough was enough, and that she needed to rest. She fell forward, the cries of shock and alarm from the team lost to her as consciousness fled and she plunged back into a welcome darkness.

* * *

 **A/N: Following a critique I received from an unidentified guest reviewer, I decided to look back over the current chapters I have uploaded for the story. I'm making some small changes to each, then I will re-upload them in an effort to make the story flow more smoothly. Regretfully, I have realized that this story is not my best work, and I strive to listen to my reviewers when they believe that there is something I can do to make the story run smoothly and in a manner that makes sense. I have no excuse for my mistakes, only that it has been a couple of years since I've tried to write anything for the realm of FanFiction. My muse has been distressingly absent since just before I got married, and I have no explanation for why. In my rush to write before my muse fled me again, I have not been diligent in looking for the flaws in my writing. For that, I apologize.**

 **If anyone has any further suggestions in how I can better improve the story or my writing, please, feel free to PM me and I will review my work and your comments accordingly. Thank you.**

 **As always, love if you will, hate if you must. I will take anything you care to dispense.**

 **Until we meet again...**

 **Kani**


	2. Uncertainty

Awareness returned slowly. She felt…distant. Heavy. Exhausted. There was a stillness that seemed to permeate the air, and as her senses returned to her, the light smell of disinfectant hit her nose. She was in the hospital. There was pretty much no question about it. As she mentally took stock of her injuries and pondered how serious her condition might be, the whisper of worried voices reached her ears, and she lay quietly, content to listen and learn what she could about her current situation.

"What were you _thinking_ , jumping on Danny like that? You know she will always step in to stop a fight between you two!" Angry female Hawaiian tone. _Kono,_ she thought. A low murmur answered the accusation, and she snapped out a bitter response.

"It doesn't matter! She loves you both! Seeing you fighting drives her over the edge, and you idiots know it! You deserve that shiner she gave you!" A distinctly masculine chuckle answered her, and Nicki sensed the Hawaiian's fury as she rounded on the culprit.

"Don't laugh, Danny! You shouldn't have egged Steve on! You knew what he would do, and what she would do. It's as much your fault as his!" The Jersey native chose to grumble back at Kono in childish mulishness.

"I didn't tell her to kick Super SEAL in the face. That's her fault." A sharp crack and a pained grunt were the response he received. Nicki smirked. Kono had undoubtedly punched Danny in the face. A poorly concealed snort echoed through the air in the silence that followed. It was Chin, she was sure. Kono's voice angrily broke the silence a moment later.

"There. Now you two have matching shiners, because you're both _idiots_!" Deciding that she had heard enough, Nicki opened her eyes, blinking tiredly. Her gaze searched out Steve, and he turned his head just in time to look into her eyes. He was on his feet and at her side a second later.

"Hey, Nicki. How do you feel?" Guilt was heavy in his tone. His mask was down; it was all over his face and in his eyes. He felt like shit, and she knew it. Her eyes drifted to the massive bruise covering almost the entire right side of his face, and she reached up to grasp his chin and turn his head, studying her handiwork as he averted his eyes and cringed at her touch. Her inspection was brief but thorough, and she released him a few moments later. He turned back to meet her gaze, his eyes sheepish as she glowered at him.

"Been better. Headache. You?" Her question was brisk, and he cringed again before answering.

"Just bruising. No lost teeth or cracked bones." She snorted, eyeing him in a less than friendly matter as she pondered a response. When she spoke again, it was one single word that cut him deeper than any knife ever had.

"Pity." A sudden ache in her head sent her scrambling for the nurse call button, a snarl crossing her face as her eyes squeezed shut. Her teammates all started to voice worried questions at once, and the ache instantly morphed into a throbbing pain that beat in time with her racing heart. Maddened by the sudden pain, she helplessly slammed her fist onto the plastic tray attached to the bed, snapping it off by mistake. Big hands grasped hers immediately, both to stop her from causing more damage and to convey support. She dimly heard Steve command the team to find a doctor as darkness threatened to overwhelm her again. Another set of hands grasped hers as Steve let go to take her face gently in his hands. She realized, with a start, that he was shaking.

"Nicki? _Nicki,_ what's wrong?" Opening her eyes felt like the hardest thing she'd ever done but she managed to get it done, finding herself staring into worried pools of steely blue. Steve's face was inches from hers, but she still had to blink the fog from her eyes just to see him clearly. Surprised by his close proximity, it took a moment for his question to sink in enough that she realized he was waiting for her answer.

"Headache. Bad headache." Her voice was rough and gravelly and shook slightly from the pain. His eyes filled with sorrow, and his fingers trembled as he ran them through her hair. She let her eyes fall shut as she focused on his hands and what he was doing, desperate to ignore the pain. His voice echoed near her ear.

"I'm sorry, Nicki. Chin and Kono are getting help. Just hang in there." She nodded tiredly, her head falling forward slightly before he tightened his grip to stabilize her head. She heard running feet approaching, then someone burst through the door. Normally she would have looked to see who it was. Now, she couldn't even bring herself to care.

"Doc is on the way! How is she?" _Chin_ , she realized. Steve rumbled a response, but she didn't pay attention as a strange tingling started right above her left ear. Her confusion swiftly morphed to terror when something started putting pressure on her eardrum. She jerked her left hand free from Danny's grip and clapped it over her ear, horrified to feel warm liquid oozing from between her fingers. All eyes were on her as she slowly withdrew her hand, trembling uncontrollably as she started at it wide-eyed. It was streaked with blood. A few seconds of shocked silence followed, then all dissolved into chaos.

Steve was bellowing for a doctor. Danny's hands were viselike where they held hers. Chin paced like a caged tiger. A man in a white coat raced in, followed by what seemed like half the nursing staff on the floor. Steve filled him in as the doctor quickly examined her ear. He cursed at what he saw. Everything was a blur of uniforms and movement after that. She was whisked from the room, Steve and Danny running along at the head of her bed as they rushed her to radiology for an emergency CT scan. She heard someone demand the neurosurgeon. She had suspected the cause of her sudden and terrifying symptoms, but she hadn't really thought about it otherwise. At that moment, she knew what was wrong, but had to wait for imaging to confirm.

Nicki let her eyes drift shut as Danny and Steve were stonewalled from entering radiology by two beefy nurses. If she was right on what her ailment was, time was spinning down at an alarming rate before she reached a point of no return. She was hustled onto the bed that would take her into the machine, then she knew nothing more.

* * *

After being escorted back to the room Nicki had previously occupied, Steve found himself facing his incredibly worried team. They were silent, whether from shock or fear, he didn't know, but they were looking to him for reassurance. He hated that he didn't have the answers they wanted, and he sought. Nevertheless, he had to say something. Raising his head, he looked to each of them in turn, steeling himself for what he already knew was coming.

"I don't know, guys. They wouldn't tell me anything. I don't think they have the first clue what's going on as it stands. She's in radiology, going in for an emergency CT scan." The team's silence became pensive. Grim. Suddenly Danny flicked his phone open, his fingers tapping the numbers he needed before he put the device to his ear. Steve looked at his partner, his eyes questioning, but Danny held up a finger to forestall any questions as the line connected.

"Max! It's Danny. Listen, if I were to give you a list of symptoms, could you hazard a diagnosis? Yeah, it's about Nicki. Yeah, a uh, really bad headache, fatigue, and then blood started coming out of her ear. What?! Are you for real? Yeah…yeah, I'll keep that in mind, Max. Thanks. They took her to radiology…no, no, nothing yet. All right. We will, Max, thanks. I'll let her know." The phone closed with a harsh snap, echoing in the silence like a death knell. Steve watched in concern as Danny's head dropped, then his body twisted as he turned away, then back. The phone was clenched tightly in his hand, which raised and fell through the air in another unconscious display of Danny's terrible worry. Steve's heart clenched in his chest, then he approached the tense Jersey man, getting up in his space to catch his attention.

"Danny, what did Max say?" The blonde met his partner's steely eyes for a moment before looking away again. His obvious distress was terrifying, and Steve couldn't help it when he grabbed the other man and shook him lightly.

" _Danny._ " The SEAL's guttural growl, plus the tight grip he had on Danny's shoulders, finally succeeded in shaking the detective back to reality. His eyes met Steve's with such blatant worry that the brunette clenched his teeth harshly in an effort to keep from shaking him again. Danny spoke before he could.

"Brain aneurysm. Max thinks it's a brain aneurysm." Steve's heart stopped, his breathing caught in his chest, and his head shook slowly in denial. Of everything he thought it could be, he had hoped against hope that it wasn't that. His lips were moving before he even realized that he was speaking.

"But…but that's…" In his denial, he had released his partner, twisting to pace across the room. Suddenly his overloaded brain started assembling the pieces of the puzzle that was, simply, how someone of Nicki's health could have fallen prey to such a debilitating condition. He whirled to face Danny, his eyes narrowing as rage manifested itself on his face.

"The fall. When she was thrown out the window…that's what caused this. Danny, Chin, Kono… _find him._ I want him, dead or alive. Get Honolulu PD to help. I'll call the governor; I'll call in every favor I have. _Find him._ " The cousins nodded and were gone, fueled by their boss's rage and his need for retribution. Danny hesitated, looking at his friend long and hard. Steve returned his stare, his eyes burning with wrath as well as worry for their critically wounded teammate.

"We'll find him. Don't let her go, Steve. She won't if you don't…but then again, you've always known that, haven't you?" The Jersey man's face was tense and drawn, but he sent his partner a sad smile, knowing his feelings for the woman currently fighting to survive. It was one rivalry the two men had never given any ground on, though it seemed Nicki had been gravitating more towards Steve as time went on. It had rankled Danny to no end, and it almost killed Steve to hear his best friend admitting he was beaten, especially now that it looked like they might lose her.

"I won't, Danny. Now go. Get the bastard that did this to her." Bright blue eyes glittered as Danny nodded, then he, too, was gone. Steve slowly sat down, uncertain what to do now, but resigning himself to waiting, for quite possibly a very long time.

 _Hang in there, Nicki._ He thought, hoping Max was wrong…but somehow certain that the medical examiner was right. He wouldn't let her go. It wasn't in his DNA. Yet, he couldn't do it alone. If Nicki wasn't willing to fight…all was lost.

* * *

 **A/N: I am actually quite delighted at the response that the first chapter received. Being new to the H50 crew, I was uncertain if I had managed to get a good enough read on Danny and Steve to convey their emotions and responses appropriately on paper. It would seem I have had some moderate success with it. *Happy dance***

 **To my four kind reviewers, thank you for taking a moment to impart your comments! To all who read, favorited, and followed the story, thank you as well! Few things are more encouraging to a writer than reviews and readers tagging a story.**

 **As always, love if you will, hate if you must. I will take anything that you care to dispense.**

 **Until we meet again...**

 **Kani**


	3. History

She was swimming in blackness, a place so dark that some instinct deep within told her that light had never touched here…wherever _here_ was. She was not conscious; this, she knew. She was somewhere so deep in her own mind that even she didn't know where she was.

 _"There's a quiet honesty in his eyes. I'm drawn to it; I can't explain it."_

Nicki frowned, confused. Those were her words. She had said those words to an old friend from her past, a former soldier that she had served with during her time in uniform. Why was she remembering this now?

 _"He's fire and ice, yin and yang, all in one. He's so fierce, so driven, so determined…and I just can't get enough."_

Alarm pricked her conscience. Flashbacks. Your life flashing before your eyes. Call it what you will, it's the same damn thing. She knew suddenly why this was coming back, now of all times. She was dying.

 _"Why haven't I told him? It's too soon…I haven't been on the island that long. I haven't known him long enough, and I'm pretty sure he's got a woman he sees that's in the Navy. I hear Danny taunt him about her on occasion. I'll give it a little while yet…there's plenty of time to explore that possibility in the future. I've got time."_

 _I'm such a fool,_ she thought to herself. All her life, Nicki had known to never take advantage of time. Time stops for nothing and no one. Every second that comes and goes will never return; she knew this. Now she was left grappling with the very real possibility that she was going to die, and that she'd die without ever telling him how she'd always felt about him.

If she was honest with herself, she knew that there had always been a spark between them, a subtle attraction that both could ignore easily but that always lingered at the back of their minds. She could see it in the gleam in his eye when he would glance at her, sensed it whenever he stood close enough that their shoulders only just barely grazed each other as they studied the smart table when working a case. The irony of the situation was not lost on her, for her unexpected hiring on to the Five-0 team should never have even happened.

-FLASHBACK-

Nicki had arrived on Oahu on a special assignment from her employer. She had exited military service the year prior and had been hired at an excellent consulting and analytics company, where she spent her days poring over client records and other data, compiling her analysis into thorough analytic briefing packages as per the assigned client's requests. Her company had received a request for data on police activities and criminal cases for all fifty of the states, and she had been dispatched to Hawaii to gather and sign for the required data for her project. The project was so massive that there were ten analysts working on it, each having been assigned five states to gather the data from and analyze. She had been assigned Hawaii, California, Arizona, New Mexico, and Texas. She chose to go to Hawaii first, since the other four states could be reached in a much more expedient manner, her office being located in Colorado anyway.

The Honolulu Police Department was tracking her arrival, as was the Governor, and considering the sensitive nature of her assignment, a police escort had been dispatched to pick her up from the airport and escort her during her stay. What should have been an easy trip, with a couple days for sightseeing on the side, quickly went sideways in a shocking manner. Nicki's company was routinely on the receiving end of terrorist threats, and there were rare occasions where analysts on assignment were kidnapped for ransom, or even killed. Her trip had been evaluated for threats and deemed safe enough for her to go, but a smuggling ring operating out of Hawaii had arranged for her to be attacked when she reached the island. Her research would reveal the true reach of their operations, and they wanted to scare anybody off from trying to complete the work.

The first inkling she had that something was wrong was when her escort's radio stopped working. Sensing impending danger, she checked her cell phone. No reception. She touched the officer's shoulder, and when he met her eyes, she hissed out three words that he reacted to accordingly.

"Step on it." The cruiser leapt forward, clearing an intersection just in time to avoid being struck by a large black van. Nicki looked back, scared out of her mind but feeling strangely detached from her fear.

"Drive. Leave the van to me." Her growl prompted a wide-eyed look from the officer, but he obeyed as she robotically opened the bag at her feet. She lowered her window as she removed a fairly innocent looking black metal ball from the bag. She fiddled with it a bit, touching a few buttons before twisting it sharply until a light _click_ was heard. The rapid beeping that started a second later prompted her to move, and she released her seat belt to twist and hang her upper body out the window, the device poised to throw in her left hand. Nicki eyed the driver, calculating the necessary force she would need as the beeping increased in tempo. She swung her arm back, twisting hard to hurl it at the windshield of the pursuing vehicle.

Her aim was good. It hit the glass right in front of the driver, exploding a fraction of a second after impact. It blew out the glass on both the van and their cruiser, and she cringed as a razor sharp fragment sliced across her face. She shook the blood out of her eyes to look at the van again, and was darkly pleased at the result. The driver was dead, and the vehicle careened around out of control before flying off the road and crashing into a tree. A cold smirk crossed her face as she settled back into the cruiser, buckling her seat belt as the officer continued driving wildly to safety.

"Help will be here soon, ma'am. Five-0 was monitoring our pick up from their headquarters to ensure you'd be safe. We didn't have any credible threats, or they would have been here to escort you." He was babbling, more from fear than anything, but Nicki didn't mind.

"That's fine. I only carry that thing around as a precaution." She murmured, shifting to ease the tension in her body as a flash of silver caught her attention. She came to attention as a silver Camaro, dark blue Silverado, and a red Chevy surrounded the cruiser, all with lights flashing.

"Thank God. Five-0." The officer breathed, relieved. Nicki raised an eyebrow as the blue truck crowded their right side, looking up to find herself staring into a pair of dark blue eyes that gleamed with intelligence. She studied the man as he expertly piloted the truck, still watching her from the corner of his left eye as they continued their hectic journey to safety.

"Who's the guy in the truck?" She asked her companion, still watching the man as his head snapped back and forth, constantly watching for danger.

"Commander McGarrett. He's in charge of Five-0. The driver of the Camaro is his partner, Detective Williams. I'm pretty sure the cousins are both in the red car. The woman is Officer Kalakaua, and the man is Lieutenant Kelly. They'll introduce themselves once we get to headquarters." Finally taking her eyes off the Commander, Nicki leaned back in her seat, closing her eyes as the adrenalin wore off and left her feeling shaky and tired.

"Very well. Let me know when we arrive." However, any hope of getting a short nap was dashed when her supervisor called. He already knew what was going on, and was not pleased. The argument that followed lasted all the way to Five-0 headquarters, out of the vehicle, and up the stairs. Nicki was livid.

"What do you mean, I shouldn't have used the grenade? It worked exactly how it was supposed to!" She yelled as she jumped out of the cruiser, grabbing her bag and slamming the door as she stomped past the surprised Five-0 team.

"I'm well aware of the dangers, you idiot! _I designed the damn thing!_ " Nicki was getting louder and louder, blindly following the dark hair of Officer Kalakaua as the team caught up and escorted her into the building.

"What did you expect me to do, quietly wait for them to start shooting? They already tried to ram us off the road! What else was I supposed to do?" She was screaming now, her gray eyes blazing with fury as she walked through the door that the blonde detective held for her. She barely spared him a glance, so focused on her conversation that she had to be gently nudged on the correct path by the huge Commander striding out at her right shoulder.

"Help? I should have waited for _help_? They were blocking our radio and cell signals! I couldn't be sure that help was on the way, or even that it would reach us in time! If I hadn't used the grenade, this would have been like the Munich murder all over again!" Nearly hoarse and half-blinded by the blood from her injury and rage, she slammed her shoulder into the corner of a wall, bouncing off to stumble into the Commander. She righted herself quickly as his hand fell on her shoulder, then they were in the stairwell, her voice echoing off the walls as the argument continued.

" _Are you out of your MIND?!_ " Her scream was deafening, and all present cringed as they hurried to the next floor and out into an open, spacious area with lots of light. They halted as they reached a table, and the hand on her shoulder prompted her to sit. She did, her entire body a taut, trembling mass of fury waiting to explode.

"Go ahead, you ass! Report me! See how far it gets you!" She hung up then, her hand nearly crushing her phone as she fought to keep from hurling it across the room. Slamming a fist down against the table, she was on her feet and pacing, her eyes darting as she looked for a restroom or locker room or somewhere to go and clean the blood off her face. Spotting the sign for a ladies' room, she stomped towards it, slamming the door open without looking back at the gobsmacked people behind her.

Reaching the sink, Nicki slammed the phone down, giving it a poisonous glare as she turned on the water before turning her attention to her reflection. She jolted in shock at the face that stared back at her. The piece of glass had sliced about a three-inch gash into her forehead, just above her right eyebrow. Blood had flowed down her face like a waterfall, giving her a frightening appearance. It had crusted around her right eye, nearly sealing it shut before dripping down her cheek and off of her chin. Her shirt was ruined, as were her pants from when she wiped blood out of her eyes and unconsciously wiped her hands on her pants.

Shrugging mentally, she dug out fresh clothes from her bag, as well as a first aid kit, pulling off the bloodied shirt to use as a towel to clean her face. She was scrubbing vigorously at the dried blood when the door opened to reveal the female officer, who stared at her uneasily from the door. Nicki could sense the presence of at least one other member of the team behind the officer, but out of sight.

"Minor flesh wound. I am fine." Nicki announced as she caught the woman's eye in the mirror. She saw her look over her shoulder, and could hear the murmur of a deep voice just outside of her hearing range. Moving cautiously, the woman entered, and the big man from the Silverado took her place in the doorway. Nicki didn't really care. Her back was to him anyway. Still keeping one eye on them, Nicki continued cleaning her face, speaking again without really thinking about it.

"You must be Officer Kalakaua." The reflection nodded as she came closer, then she stood at Nicki's side, her eyes uneasy as she studied the analyst's face.

"I am. You need stitches." Nicki startled them both with a poorly concealed snort. She shook her head, grabbing the rubbing alcohol and leaning over the sink as she replied.

"I have butterfly compresses. They'll work fine. I'll just rip the stitches out anyway." Anything else she might have said died on her lips as she poured the alcohol on the wound, snarling curses in three different languages as her nerves lit up simultaneously to point out, rather vocally, that her wound was now burning. She gingerly set the bottle down, tears of pain forcing themselves out of her tightly closed eyes to drip into the sink with the blood and alcohol as she waited for it to stop. She continued muttering under her breath as she threw hot water on her face to clear off any remaining blood and alcohol before using gauze to dry her skin. She took a wad of gauze and applied pressure to her injury, growling as the pain flared again for several seconds before dying back down.

Retrieving a few butterfly bandages from her kit, she looked in the mirror again, applying the little strips with an expert's touch as her two escorts looked on. Checking the results, she nodded in satisfaction before wiping a little bit of anti-bacterial cream to the smooth red line. She washed her hands, then packed her kit back up before throwing away the wrappers and other garbage she had piled up, including her ruined shirt.

For a moment, she forgot that the group's Commander was in the door, and she turned around as she put on her clean shirt. Catching his eye, she suddenly felt self-conscious, so she grabbed her bag and entered a stall to change her pants. She emerged less than a minute later, already feeling much better as she shouldered her bag and threw her pants in the trash. She strode out the door, brushing past the Commander as she did so, before returning to where she'd been before. She dropped her bag on the table before sticking her hand out to the first person she could reach, her eyes rising to meet a steely blue gaze as a big hand grasped hers warmly.

"Nicki Shad, lead analyst of the Reachback project." She introduced herself, sensing the smile that crossed the man's face was genuine as he responded.

"Steve McGarrett, Commander of Five-0". She had nodded, shaken his hand firmly, and then turned back to the smart table to get down to business. She had a job to do, and she would be damned if a stupid smuggling ring was going to stop her.

Nicki had been fired from her job a few days later, the company citing her 'reckless endangerment of the public' as their cause. Her response had been colorful and using many words that were not considered appropriate for pleasant conversation. Fortunately, she was already back on the mainland and at home when they told her. Of course they didn't fire her until she had retrieved all of the data for the project, so all they had to do was conduct an analyst swap before she was told to clear out and not come back.

McGarrett heard about her being fired from her job. How, she didn't know, but somehow he did. Within twelve hours of the official notification from the company that she had been fired, he had called and offered her an opportunity she couldn't resist. If she wanted it, he had a spot available in Five-0 for a skilled data and intelligence analyst. How could she refuse?

-END FLASHBACK-

 _Ah, memories…_ Nicki thought, her mind having successfully derailed from her previous dark musing. Then another jolt of reality seared through her, and she realized she hadn't deviated at all from where she'd been. She was reliving her past. Considering how close she actually was between 'past' and 'present' in her musings, she made the sickening assumption that she didn't have much time left.

Nicki had no idea how much time had really passed since her second collapse. Some part of her didn't really want to know; the darkness and the past were both safe places to be, considering what she'd found herself encountering with the Five-0 on a nearly _daily_ basis.

Overall, Nicki was lucky. Being thrown out a second story window was fairly mild in comparison to what all of the members of Five-0 had been subjected to. Danny had been bitten by a gun-runner's girlfriend, _then_ shot. He had also been exposed to Sarin, and nearly died from it. Kono had been kidnapped, stabbed, and beaten to hell. Chin had been kidnapped, and had a bomb strapped to his neck. He had been shot at numerous times. Steve…where to begin?

 _Not going to go there…_ The SEAL had had his fair share of beatings, stabbings, shootings, bombings…it was never ending with him. Yet, he constantly charged headlong into danger, with the cursing blonde Jersey native chasing him. Danny's rants were a sight to behold, even if he and Steve escaped without injury.

 _I wouldn't have him any other way._ Nicki thought in amusement, then she jolted as a massive wave of electricity roared through her body. Pain became a very real, and unamusing, guest, and she trembled as her body practically crackled following the jolt.

 _The fu…?_ She didn't even get a chance to finish her thought before another wave tore through her, leaving her shuddering and gasping in pain. Her thoughts were muddled, her mind sluggish to respond as she tried to understand what was happening. Then it clicked; the proverbial lightbulb was on. Her heart had stopped. She had crashed, and they were fighting to bring her back.

As another wave left her straining and sobbing in agony, she couldn't help but hope that Steve and Danny weren't there to witness what was going on. She wasn't sure they were going to be able to bring her back.

* * *

 _"Code blue! Code blue, room 344!"_ Steve felt his heart stop. He had just gone down to the cafeteria to get some coffee. He'd been gone less than five minutes. In that five minutes, Nicki had crashed. Coffee forgotten, Steve raced down the hallway, reaching the door just in time for Danny to get pushed out and right into his chest. He was yelling at a nurse, and she was yelling back and shoving him out as medical personnel swarmed Nicki's bed. Steve could barely see what was going on, then the door was slammed in he and Danny's faces. He spun to face his friend, watching as the detective stormed up and down the hallway, his face white, his eyes focusing on nothing.

"Danny! I was gone for less than five minutes, what happened?" Steve asked, pressing his friend for answers in an effort to break through to him. The blonde head shook vigorously as Danny continued pacing.

"She was fine! She was quiet and her vitals were stable, then she just…I don't know. Crashed. Just…out of nowhere! Crashed." Danny shook his head, because it didn't make sense. It just didn't. Steve fumed, staring at the door then back to his partner, unable to believe that she had gone downhill that fast.

They didn't expect her to make it out of surgery, but she did. The neurosurgeon was able to repair the tear to the blood vessel and got the pressure in her skull to drop before closing her incisions. The surgery had been a massive success as far as repairing the damage went. They wouldn't know about brain damage until she woke up.

 _If she wakes up,_ Steve thought darkly as the door opened and an exhausted doctor emerged. He held up a hand, forestalling the SEAL's barrage of questions before they could even leave his lips.

"We got her back, but her vitals are very weak. You can sit with her, but you _must_ be quiet and calm. _Do not_ touch anything, or she could drop again, and I don't think we'll get her back if she does." With that said, he walked away, barking orders at the nurses to get more medication and fluids for his newly critical patient as Steve crept carefully into the room.

Nicki was still surrounded by several nurses, so Steve stood back and out of the way, aghast at how pale her skin was, and how small she suddenly looked. Seeing his stricken face, one of the nurses managed to smile at him, but her concern was evident.

"It's okay, Commander. You can talk to her. It doesn't matter what you say; she just needs to hear your voice." He managed a shaky nod, and once she left, he found himself alone with Nicki for the first time. Uncertain what to say or do, he slowly approached the bed, sitting in the chair as he stared at her face. With the doctor's stern warning still in mind, he carefully reached out to cover her limp right hand with his own, shocked at how cold she was. He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth, hating that he felt so helpless. He blinked harshly, trying to keep his tears at bay as he tried to think of something to say.

"Nicki…please, don't…don't let go. Chin and Kono are real close to catching the scum that did this to you. You need to be there when they do. Please, Nicki, _please._ Hold on."

* * *

 **A/N: I have already updated Chapter 1. I looked over Chapter 2 and couldn't see very much improvement that could be made for the sake of continuity and transitioning, so I left it be. This chapter had potential for improvement and general polishing, so I did so. This is a replacement of the previous chapter, again due to a critique I received about the story being all over the place. Most of the work I did focused on the flashback, and on the actual chapter introduction, since it was unclear what exactly was going on with Nicki when the chapter started. I also realized that the flashback was not as clean and concise as it could be, and I put the END FLASHBACK note in the wrong place. I have corrected said error.**

 **As always, love if you will, hate if you must. I will take anything you care to dispense.**

 **Until we meet again...**

 **Kani**


	4. Necessity

Nicki was aware of nothing, and then there was something. She had no idea how long she had been fully unconscious, and therefore unaware, of what was going on, but she knew the moment she was back. The darkness wasn't quite as dark…her eyelids didn't feel quite so heavy…her senses, not quite as muddled. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get her body to respond. So she sat there, frustrated and able to hear and _aware_ of the tension of a certain more-than-slightly stressed former Navy SEAL. She wanted to reach for him…but her hands were limp and lifeless. Her patience was absolutely gone, as she heard the depth of his breathing, sensed his worry, and felt the warmth of his hand on hers. She would kill to just be able to give him a sign, somehow, that she was there, that she was with him, and that she would be okay.

The ringing of his cell phone made her twitch, but in his rush to answer the device, he didn't notice. She cursed her miserable luck in every language she knew as she listened to him speak, and strained to hear the other end. Again, her luck failed her, as did her hearing.

 _I need to get my damn ears checked…_ If she could have growled her anger, she would have. Even her lungs refused to obey. The shriek of the chair on the floor grated on her nerves, and suddenly he was gone.

 _He's leaving? No…_ The sudden burst of panic that filled her had at least _one_ small benefit…sort of. Her blood pressure plummeted, and her heart started racing. All at once, machines were shrieking, and people were running, and there was shouting. Then she sensed that he was back. She could hear him, fighting with someone as he tried to get to her. They held him back, much to her chagrin, and his fury. A blinding rage filled her, and she fought with everything she had to do _something._ Anything, if only to show all of them that _she was there._ Finally, her body responded, and finally, they noticed.

Nicki's face twisted into a snarl, her teeth grinding loudly in spite of the chaos in the room, and her fists clenched, causing her knuckles to crack like popcorn in the sudden silence that had fallen as they stared at her in shock. A grunt, then a growl rumbled from her chest, and she thrashed her head back and forth, trying her hardest to shake the oxygen mask from her face as her eyes cracked open. She immediately closed them again when the lights blinded her, then she reached for the mask with the full intent of ripping it off of her face. A big, calloused hand stopped her, and she opened one eye cautiously to look up.

Swirling steel blue greeted her, so close that Nicki tried to sink further into the bed to get a little distance between them. Steve was so close that his breath blasted across her face, and she growled lightly, sucking in a breath to speak but he spoke first.

"Hey there. What can you remember?" She blinked, trying to twist away before her body reminded her that she was hurt. Quite badly, in fact. She sucked in a breath in pain and surprise, looking at Steve and blinking stupidly for a second. His face fell, and she suddenly realized what he was trying to ascertain. Without thinking, she reached up, her hand falling on his cheek as he turned away. Instantly he froze, and his eyes came back to hers. She rubbed her thumb along his cheekbone, huffing out a heavy breath as she looked into his eyes fondly, grinning beneath the mask as his eyes lit up with the realization that she was still herself, and that she would be okay.

"Stupid…animal. I'm…here." Nicki said, cursing that her throat still felt like raw hamburger as his eyes got brighter…if that was even possible. They looked at each other for what seemed like forever, but that she knew was only a few seconds before she took a deep breath and tried again.

"Steve…I owe you…something. You deserve…to know." Running out of air again, she closed her eyes, growling angrily at her misfortune and near strangulation. She nearly missed what he said as she cursed her utterly bad luck in her head.

"No, no. It can wait. You'll be fine." Nicki shocked him when she snapped her eyes open to look at him fiercely, and then she all but snarled at him.

"No. Now. Get them out." Her chin snapped towards the doctor and the nurse still monitoring her first moments awake. Her eyes didn't leave Steve's face as he looked over at the medical staff and gently motioned for them to leave. They did so, but by the look in the doctor's eye, Nicki knew he'd be back in a few minutes to more thoroughly evaluate her condition. Steve looked back at her, finding himself staring straight into gray eyes as stormy as a hurricane, yet calm, in a way.

"What is it, Nicki? You really shouldn't be speaking…" Shocking him yet again, she reached up and ripped the mask from her face, taking a deep breath in and staring at him hard as she worked up the nerve to speak, and to tell him what she so desperately needed to tell him.

"There is something…you should know. I should have told you…long ago. But at the time…it didn't feel right. Yet I…I know better. Time…waits for no one. It never has." Nicki's eyes flashed; she was desperate, now. Her lungs were improving, but not fast enough for her. He tried to shush her, but she swept it aside, a snarl crossing her face as she snapped at him.

"No. Let. Me. Speak. I agonized…over this. I was aware…for much of the time…I only knew darkness…but I knew _…knew_ you were here. Dying now…would have been…my greatest regret. I owe you this. I always have." Stopping again, and agonizing over her jumbled words and erratic thoughts, she closed her eyes, breathing in and out heavily for a few seconds before she stared into the SEAL's eyes again.

"Steve…I care for you…far more than I…I should. I've never known…feelings this strong…somehow, _someway,_ fate…had a hand, in everything. From the time we met…I've been stable. Whole. _At peace._ I've never been so… _right,_ you know? So many things went wrong…but this? _This went right._ This is how…it should have been. This is where…I'm supposed to be. I couldn't die…not without telling you. I fought so hard…just to return. So I could tell you…whether or not it…would change anything...I had to. _I had to._ " Nicki was still looking at him. She had seen every emotion that had flitted through his eyes, but she couldn't read him by the end. He was so still, she would later swear he wasn't even breathing. She didn't know what to do, or think, so she just waited, hoping he would come to his senses and say something. Anything, if only to acknowledge that he heard her, and that he understood what she was saying.

The moment was broken when the door opened and Danny barged in, his light blue eyes glittering so fiercely that Nicki had to blink at the intensity. Steve's head snapped around to face the Jersey native, and his eyes narrowed when he saw the look on his partner's face. Before he could ask, Danny was already speaking.

"The cousins found him. He tried to run, but HPD cut him off and cornered him. He's barricaded in a crappy little house on the North Shore. Steve, we need you." The big man nodded, and Nicki felt her heart sink a little, already knowing that Steve would use the distraction to try and get his thoughts in order. She needed him off balance to get an accurate read on what he was thinking, and how he really felt. She sensed that she may never get another chance, but it was already too late.

The Commander got to his feet and strode from the room without a backward glance, Danny following resolutely. Nicki felt the tears filling her eyes even before the door closed, and she sighed as she let her eyes fall shut.

 _At least if I die, now there will be no regrets…_

* * *

 **A/N: So, a much shorter chapter than I have previously written. The idea kind of came out of the blue, and I wanted to focus entirely on this conversation between Steve and Nicki. From what I've seen of Steve (mind you, I've only just recently discovered Hawaii Five-0, and I'm only just a couple episodes into Season 2), he dodges emotions and emotional situations like a friggin' ninja. I thought the little interruption at the end, with him just up and walking out, was about what he would do in a situation like this. Maybe I'm wrong?**

 **Anyway, confrontation with the ass with the big hands next chapter. I'm debating over having Steve beat the shit out of him, or simply shooting him. Thoughts, dear readers?**

 **As always, love if you will, hate if you must. I will take anything that you care to dispense.**

 **Until we meet again...**

 **Kani**


	5. Fury

Steve was driving. Danny knew this. It was a common, everyday occurrence for the two men; Steve would steal the keys, and Danny would bitch that he never got to drive his car. However, there was a little less for the blonde detective to complain about this time, since the Camaro was in for repairs, and they were in Steve's Silverado anyway.

Today, however, there was something frightening about the ex-SEAL. His posture, his silence, his eyes…they were all different from what Danny considered to be his partner's norm. His behavior on leaving the hospital was just as unusual; Steve was usually loathe to leave his injured teammates in the hospital, even when he had to go work on a case. Today, however, he had immediately gotten to his feet and all but run from Nicki's room.

"So what happened between you and Nicki in the short amount of time that she's been awake? I know she only just woke up, so don't lie to me. What happened?" Danny leveled his special break-the-SEAL stare at his partner for good measure. Something had definitely happened between the two, and Danny wouldn't rest until he knew what it was.

"It's nothing, Danno." Came the quiet response, which utterly lacked eye contact on Steve's part.

"Liar." The burly detective was determined, and he increased the intensity of his stare to his patented I'm-going-to-murder-you glare that absolutely no one could resist. Except Grace, of course.

"I said it once, and I'll say it again. It. Is. Nothing. Let it go." The tension in Steve's voice, along with the continued avoidance of eye contact, spurred Danny on. He knew he'd get him to snap eventually, especially considering everything that had happened over the last few days with Nicki and her injuries.

"Nothing my ass, babe. You all but ran out of Nicki's room when I got there and told you we found the no-good worthless piece of trash that hurt her. You didn't even say goodbye, or make sure she was all right. Then, _then,_ you jump in the truck and go straight into the-world-will-burn mode. You won't look at me, and you won't talk unless I press you. So I'll ask again, and please, _please,_ don't lie to me. What. Happened?" Silence fell between the two, but it was a pregnant silence that Danny knew damn well to let sit. Steve was seconds from losing it. All he had to do was wait. The heavy sigh and soft growl that rumbled from his left make him smile tightly in success. However, what he had expected to happen and what actually happened threw him for a loop and left him slack-jawed in surprise.

"Nicki woke up, and she had me kick all the medical personnel from the room. She said there was something she had to tell me, something important…something so big that she fought tooth and nail to come back to us, because she would have regretted it forever if she died without saying it." Steve's voice was stunningly soft, and to Danny's absolute amazement, he saw tears in his partner's eyes. Bug-eyed with shock, it was all the blonde detective could do to _not_ say something and derail the big man next to him. The shuddering intake of air from the man's chest was prelude to the quietest breakdown Danny had ever witnessed.

"She said she cared about me…far more than she should. I already know that it was her way of saying that she loves me. But I screwed up…I shut down. I didn't say anything. I just sat there until you walked in. I _felt_ her hope fade away because of my silence. Her sadness at my inability to say or do anything…it was as though it was my own. I had to leave…especially since we found that piece of dog shit that did this to her. But some part of me is sure that I've done irreparable damage to her, and I'm afraid to even _try_ and fix it." By the end, two tears had fallen from Steve's eyes, though the evidence of them faded quickly. But Danny had seen them, and he would remember them forever. The man at his side never, _never,_ cried.

"Steve…you owe it to her to try. You said it yourself, she _fought_ to return so that you would know how she feels about you. You owe her an explanation, and you owe _yourself_ a chance. I strongly believe that she could be what you've always wanted, and that Catherine could never be. She's invaluable to us as a teammate, and I would hate to lose her as a friend because you're too afraid to give her the opportunity you both deserve. How about this: let's deal with this slimeball, then we'll go back to the hospital, and I'll guard the door and keep everyone away so you can tell her what you need to. Deal?" Silence fell again, but Danny kept his eyes on the other man, not willing to look away until he had his answer. The only indication that Steve was stressed was the white-knuckled grip he had on the steering wheel. His eyes were a swirling mess of emotion, pain and fear and rage warring for dominance as he sat in silence. Danny knew what each emotion was for; pain, because he had hurt Nicki unintentionally. Fear, because he was just as afraid of losing her as he was of telling her how he felt about her. Rage, because she was hurt, and the man responsible had not yet been captured. He settled for rage, and his face turned to stone, but not before he gave Danny his answer.

"Deal."

* * *

Chin and Kono had done their work well. Ever since Nicki had gone into surgery, they had been relentless in their search for the man that had so terribly injured their teammate. They had taken turns eating and resting, both of them unwilling to give up until he was found. It had been a long haul, but they were undeterred. Then, Chin got a hit, which led them to where they were now as they waited for Steve and Danny to arrive. Chin held his trustworthy shotgun, his dark eyes cold as he studied the dilapidated building in front of them. Kono was a restless ball of energy, her hands on her hips as she drummed the fingers of her right hand across the grip of her sidearm.

Both of them looked up when the blue Silverado screeched to a halt next to them, and they came to attention as Steve and Danny dismounted the vehicle. They saw the look in their Commander's eyes; they knew he would be on point today. Nothing needed to be said between the four of them. Only Danny spoke, and that was only to remind Duke that HPD was staying on perimeter guard. Five-0 would clear the building.

Today, the elite task force's roles were unspoken. Steve unholstered his pistol, raising it to chest height as he moved to the door. Danny was two feet to his right, his sidearm up and ready. Chin and Kono had already moved to the back, Chin and his shotgun in the lead. Steve paused, counting to ten in his head silently as he waited for Chin and Kono to get in place. He looked over his shoulder one last time, making eye contact with Danny to ensure that he was ready. The Jersey detective's icy gaze stared back, resolute and determined. Steve looked to the door again, calculating the force he would need to kick it open. Then he moved, his years of military experience and SEAL training coming to the forefront as he reared to his full height before slamming his right boot into the door, just to the left of the doorknob. It flew open, clattering loudly against the wall at the same time as the sliding glass door in the back of the house shattered, announcing that Chin had made entry.

"Five-0! Show yourself!" Steve's voice was pure steel, backed with a promise of sheer pain if those within chose to ignore him. He was through the door and already heading down the hallway on his left, Danny racing in behind him and to his right as they worked in tandem to secure the building. He could hear Chin and Kono determinedly making their way through the kitchen and laundry area, and then rapid footfalls announced the location of their man.

"Gun!" It was Danny that called it, and his warning was followed by rapid gunfire. Steve turned and raced back through the main room immediately, knowing Chin and Kono would finish clearing the rest of the building as he went to help his partner. A flash of movement from the corner of his left eye stopped Steve cold, and he pivoted in time to come face to face with the big, angry man that had already sent one of his team to the hospital. His reaction was instantaneous; swinging hard, the SEAL brought the butt of his pistol down right into the man's temple. It sent the man staggering, his eyes wide with shock as blood poured down his face.

The blow sent shockwaves up Steve's arm but he was unstoppable now, steel blue eyes darkening to a cobalt blue that promised imminent death to those whom he faced. He followed his initial strike through with a kick to the man's chest, knocking him on his ass as the Commander launched himself on the downed suspect, discarding his sidearm in lieu of beating him senseless with his bare hands. He didn't know where Danny was, and some small part of him didn't care. He had tunnel vision now, all his attention focused on landing the hardest punches he could on the suspect's face.

Steve didn't know how many times he had hit the man, but suddenly he felt his arms grabbed, and he was dragged off of the suspect, fighting and snarling to get back to him and continue where he'd left off. He heard voices, but was unable to identify them, his fury making it impossible for him to focus on anything but the man that had nearly killed Nicki. A brisk slap to his face brought him out of it just enough that he was able to focus, and he suddenly realized that Danny was kneeling in front of him. His partner's left arm hung limply at his side, blood running down his forearm as he used his right hand to force Steve to look at him.

"Steve! Hey! You with me?" The Commander blinked, staring at Danny mutely for a few seconds before he finally managed to find his voice.

"You're bleeding." He said, blinking stupidly as Danny barked out a laugh that turned into a cough, and Steve felt his concern for his partner suddenly escalate to panic.

"Danny! Are you okay?" The SEAL asked, struggling free of the hands holding him as he dropped to his knees in front of his friend, one hand landing on his good shoulder as he placed the other flat on Danny's vest.

"I've been better, you animal. I took two to the chest and one to my shoulder when I went down. He tried to run, probably thinking I was dead, and then you kicked him right back through the door. Did you kill him?" Though a little breathless, Danny's words encouraged Steve, and he was quietly certain that his partner would be okay. The blonde detective's last question made Steve pause, and he turned a disgruntled stare towards the man he had so thoroughly beaten. He was currently being attended to by emergency personnel, and by the moans emanating from him, Steve unhappily concluded that he hadn't been able to finish what he had started.

"No, I didn't, but I did manage to rearrange his ugly face a bit." Steve bit the sentence out, feeling his hatred for the man resurfacing and filling him again when he realized that the bastard was now responsible for _two_ of his team needing medical treatment. The Commander rose to his feet, fully intending to pay the man another visit, then Chin's hand fell on his shoulder. His touch conveyed everything that needed to be said, and Steve stood quietly as the medics hauled the man out.

"Chin, Kono. Escort that piece of shit to the hospital and make sure he doesn't go anywhere." His voice was a grating snarl, but the cousins didn't take it personally. Chin squeezed his shoulder lightly, then they were both gone, one hopping in the ambulance as the other took their vehicle to follow. Steve looked back at Danny, reaching out a hand and helping him to his feet as his partner gingerly applied pressure to the wound on his shoulder.

"C'mon, Danno. Let's get you to the hospital. HPD can finish up here." Steve said softly, placing his left hand over Danny's to apply further pressure to the injury as he put his right arm around his partner's shoulders. For once, Danny was silent, moving quietly under the SEAL's guidance as Steve steered him outside and towards the blue truck.

All the cops present watched them go, then Duke barked out a series of commands, and Steve smiled to himself as he helped his partner into the truck before he shut the door and headed around to hop into the driver's seat.

 _Duke will get this all squared away for us. He always does._ Steve thought as he turned the key, bringing the truck roaring to life before he hit the gas and peeled away, heading for the hospital as his thoughts became grim again.

 _First Nicki, now Danny. I will not have another member of my team hospitalized on this case. Enough is enough._

* * *

 **A/N: Of course, I couldn't let Danny get away unscathed. Poor guy always seems to be on the wrong end of trouble. Getting shot, stabbed, poisoned...anyway. Hope everyone likes the chapter. I sure enjoyed writing it. Back to the hospital we go for the next one...**

 **To all of my readers, reviewers, and followers, thank you for reading! I hope you're all enjoying the story thus far!**

 **As always, love if you will, hate if you must. I will take anything you care to dispense.**

 **Until we meet again...**

 **Kani**


	6. Honesty

Back at the hospital, things hadn't gone well for Nicki. Not after Steve and Danny had left. She had been left alone, in the one place that she absolutely despised the most. She had tried to keep a positive outlook, reminding herself that there was an active case, and that Steve was where he needed to be, where the team needed him to be…but not where _she_ needed him to be. She had tried to steel her resolve, telling herself that it would all be over soon, then they would be back to keep her company…and to keep the ghosts and the memories at bay. Then it occurred to Nicki that she was slipping back to a place that she had so desperately fought to escape long before…and she knew she had to leave. She tried to sign herself out again, but this time, her doctor absolutely refused.

"Nicki, are you serious? You just suffered a massive trauma, followed by a near-fatal brain hemorrhage, and then the emergency surgery that followed. You are lucky to be alive! That said, there is no way possible that you will be leaving this hospital any time soon. We need to be able to monitor you and your vitals constantly to ensure that the work the neurosurgeon did in your brain holds. Any sort of excess stress or activity could cause a new bleed to break loose, and there is a very high probability that a repeat will kill you. That, and you are still recovering from the other injuries you sustained in the fall. Get comfortable, missy. You're going to be our guest for a while." With that said, he left, and Nicki started to come apart at the seams. She could already hear the voices…it was only a matter of time before she started seeing the ghosts.

Burrowing beneath the blanket on her bed, Nicki closed her eyes, desperately trying to find a way to drown out the incessant voices as she was reminded how many friends she had lost. They were unrelenting; so many different voices and tones were calling her name, crying for help, pleading to be able to live. She was drowning in her own mind. She tried, with everything she had, to bring herself back to the present, back to _here_ and _now_ and away from the voices of the dead, but it was too late. She was too deep. She was trapped.

Giving in to the fear, Nicki let loose with a heartbreaking wail, a cry so full of despair and pain and grief that all activity on the floor stopped, everyone present looking at each other mutely as another howl tore through the silence, then another…and another. Nurses started going in and out of the room as much as possible, speaking to the terrified and crying woman in an effort to bring her out of it, but to no avail. Her doctor returned, and upon finding her unresponsive and her vitals completely unstable, he made the dangerous decision to have her sedated in an effort to stabilize her.

The sedation calmed her vitals to a degree, but not the nightmares. Not the memories. She writhed and moaned, thrashed and cried as the ghosts of her past haunted her relentlessly, leaving the doctor with the difficult decision of restraining her, and even placing her in a medically induced coma. He called the neurosurgeon to Nicki's room to discuss the dangers, and their conversation became so heated that they had to move into the hallway as nurses held the struggling woman down in an effort to keep her from causing herself further harm.

It was at this point that Five-0 made it to the hospital, and both Danny and the suspect were brought to the same floor as Nicki was. As the doctor and the neurosurgeon argued, the double doors at the end of the hallway swung open, revealing the stretcher now bearing Danny Williams as Steve followed close behind. Kono and Chin were escorting the other stretcher, keeping an eye on both the suspect and their boss as they did so. Danny and Steve were arguing back and forth like usual when Nicki's doctor spotted them.

"Commander! I need to speak with you immediately. It's about Ms. Shad…" Giving the doctor a rather bored look, Steve continued walking behind Danny's stretcher, intending to wait on word of his partner's condition before worrying about his teammate that was already there.

"I'm sure it can wait for a little while, Doc. My partner has been shot, and I'd like to get an idea of his condition before I worry about Nicki again, since she's already here and her care is in the best hands possible." The doctor slammed an arm out in front of the former SEAL, bringing him to a quick halt as he stared at the big man intently. He opened his mouth, about to tell Steve just how badly things had gone since he had rushed out, but he didn't get the chance. A long, painful wail interrupted him, rising to a blood-curdling scream that literally echoed through the building. Steve's eyes snapped up and around, a look of shock on his face as the doctor sadly looked towards Nicki's room.

"You don't understand, Commander. Ms. Shad's condition is now critical, and she's getting worse. Please, come with me." Steve stared after him in disbelief for a second before hurrying to follow him. When the door opened to Nicki's room, the former SEAL felt his heart drop into his boots. She was fully restrained now, with special padded leather restraints designed to prevent further harm as she trembled and cried on the bed.

In an instant, Steve was there, shedding his vest and gloves and throwing both aside as he took her right hand gently. His gaze was focused on her face, and the doctor swore he saw the big man tear up. Slowly, Steve sat in the chair, rubbing circles on the back of her hand gently as her cries grew in intensity.

"Easy Nicki…" His voice, deep and soothing, filled the air, and for just a second, she stilled. He spoke louder and more urgently when her thrashing started anew.

"Nicki, it's okay. It's Steve. I'm here. I'm here…don't worry about the ghosts. Don't listen to the voices. They're dead, and they're gone. They aren't real anymore. I am. Come back to me, sweetheart. Come back to me." She stilled again, her cries having softened in volume before she went quiet, seemingly content to listen to him speak. He continued, well aware of how soothing she had always found his voice.

"That's it, good job, Nicki. I'm here. Hey, I'm sorry I left…but I had to go. I had to get the guy that did this to you. Don't worry, we got him. Danny got hit but he'll be okay, I think. I beat the hell out of the guy for you. He won't forget me, _or_ you, in a hurry. He'll never hurt Five-0, or anyone else ever again. I swear it." Steve said, still rubbing her hand gently as she settled even further, her body relaxing as her vitals finally stabilized. The Five-0 Commander continued speaking softly and soothingly, not really paying attention to what he said. It was only important that he continued speaking, that he reminded Nicki that he was there, that he would always be there, and that she would never be alone.

* * *

Hours had passed, and Steve still sat at Nicki's side, her hand still clutched in his. He was still speaking softly, rambling now about random news articles and who had won what professional sport that day…night…whatever. Her condition had been stable for so long that the doctor was more than happy to stop the sedatives and remove the restraints. Nicki was sleeping quietly, now, her silver blonde hair wild where it splayed across her pillow as Steve studied her calmly. Suddenly it occurred to him that he was alone, and outside of the occasional nurse or doctor swinging by to check in and make sure she was doing alright, the hospital was dead quiet. Holding her hand a little tighter, he took in a deep breath, looking around one last time before he looked at her face.

"Hey Nicki, listen…there's something I need to tell you. It's…it's about what we were talking about right before I had to leave. You said something to me, something that truly shocked me, and I didn't know how to respond. Unfortunately, my sudden departure didn't help matters…not at all. I…I know how much I hurt you, Nicki, and I'm so sorry. I truly didn't...didn't mean to. Actually, while we're on that topic, there's something I need to tell you." Here he paused to breathe, looking away for a few moments to gather his thoughts, and his courage, before he continued to speak.

"You and I…we're really good together. I've never…felt this way for someone…not the way I feel about you. You walk into the room, and I want to be near you. When you are hurt, I want to hold you. When someone harms you…I want to kill for you. I want to be the man you come home to. I want to be the man you turn to when you feel like it's all gone wrong. I want to be the man you love. I just don't know…what it is you want of _me._ " Steve turned away again, unable to speak further because of the big lump in his throat, and unable to see because of the tears misting his eyes. As he had spoken, it had hit him just _how much_ he wanted to be everything Nicki ever wanted, and everything she ever needed. It was just as terrifying as it was exhilarating, and he realized he felt lighter, like he had a weight off of his shoulders.

 _Don't know why…I'll have to tell her all this again, when she's awake. And when I've got the nerve…_ The big SEAL thought, gusting a heavy sigh out of his chest before turning to look back at Nicki's face. He found himself staring into eyes the color of a winter storm, and as bright as the stars. They stared at each other for several long, heart stopping seconds, before Steve realized something.

"You heard…everything, didn't you?" Those eyes watched him, unchanging, unflinching, for what felt like forever. The small nod that followed made him freeze as all the blood left his face and went straight to his shoes.

Oh, _shit._

* * *

 **A/N: Aaaannnddd chapter! I think this one is just about my favorite so far. Panic attack followed by honest admissions that may not have been quite so honest, if only Steve had known Nicki was awake. Oops. XD**

 **As always, love if you will, hate if you must. I will take anything that you care to dispense.**

 **Until we meet again...**

 **Kani**


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